Unloving Light (Metaphysical)
August 21, 2008
Personal experience is the best teacher of truths. In fact, I sometimes go so far as to say, "It is impossible to teach anybody anything unless they've already had the direct personal experience to let them know that it's true."
This page contains my story of discovering the reality of "Unloving Light."
Learning to Meditate
In 1987, at the age of 19, I had my first spiritual crisis. At that time, I'd recently read a widely popular book by British author Peter Russell titled "The Global Brain Awakens." It greatly inspired me, and lead me to look for other titles by the same author. I found "The TM Technique" (about Transcendental Meditation), also by Russell. I was sold. In short order, I located a TM teacher in the city of Goteborg, Sweden, got myself "initiated" into the technique, and begun my daily meditation practice.
However, it was not long into my TM practice before I began to notice a bright light appearing to me in my meditations. Mentally, I was of the belief that "light" was something good - spiritual, loving, etc. However, this light did not feel good to me. It "courted" me in my meditations for a while to gain permission to join me in my meditations. My mental belief at that time was that light was always good. But even so, that strongly held belief did not win out over the insistent sensation I had that this light was unkind. Therefore, at some point, I turned the light away and decided I'd rather meditate in a space of spiritual twilight than in the presence of that bright unkind light.
My Brother Confirms Experience
All of this was of course an entirely subjective experience and for a couple of years afterwards I doubted whether it was real or imagined. But as chance would have it, my younger brother Ola had learned the TM technique as well, only a few months after me. And around 1990, I had a talk with him in which I told him of my experience. My jaw dropped when he said he'd had the exact same experience of this unkind light. In his case, he'd gone so far as to stop meditating because of it. But he'd later resumed his practice with the intent to just "meditate without the light present," same as I had done. What an amazing confirmation that was of my subjective experience!
Additional Third Party Confirmation
Then in 1991, I read in a book about the concept of Unloving Light, which was exactingly explained. To keep it brief, it was defined as "God's loving light in reversal," primarily personified by the entity known as Lucifer. (Although many others also have this "reverse light" in them - humans, non-humans, and spiritual entities.) For most of my life, I have not significantly ascribed to the mythology of Christian faith, which was my only source of reference about Lucifer. But I still had to admit what a flawlessly fitting image this created. And most importantly, it conformed 100% to my own direct personal experience. No other spiritual teaching had ever done that.
Current Understanding of Unloving Light
The understanding I have developed from that book and my direct personal experience, in conjunction with the inner teachings of my own spirit guides, is that love is light but light is not always love - in the same way as grass is green, but green is not always grass. Instead, whereas love ('loving consciousness') equals light, light merely equals consciousness, whether it's consciousness filled with love or not. Darkness, in contrast, is the subconscious (= unconscious emotions, instincts and psychological programming).
A good example to illustrate this is to look at some common expressions in the human language. When we say, "being kept in the dark," do we mean "being kept in lovelessness?" No. What we mean is that we are "being kept in unconsciousness (unknowingness)" regarding something. Likewise, if we say, "please enlighten me," we don't mean, "please make me loving." We mean, "please make me conscious."
So while our dark side (subconscious mind) may cause us to do bad things unconsciously, the intentionally bad things perpetrated by certain humans (e.g. Hitler, Idi Amin, Sadam Hussein) are conducted from the conscious part of the mind, which is the part of the mind that's in the light - although it's obviously not a loving light.
Unloving Light as 'Evil'
Thus, if a term such as 'evil' were to be used, which I rarely do, it would apply to this energy of unloving light, not to darkness. Darkness is ignorant, and in its ignorance may do harmful things. But it is not consciously malignant. How could it be when it is not conscious? In order for something to be defined as 'evil,' it would have to possess a consciously malignant intent. Such a thing, 'a consciously malignant intent,' cannot be found in the unconscious darkness, only in the 'enlightened' (= conscious and aware) part of the mind. And perhaps this is just as described in the book I read in 1991... God's light in reversal... unloving light... the energy personified in mythology by the entity Lucifer...
One important final point to mention regards the term fear-based. In spite of what I'm describing above, I still use the term fear-based to refer to behavior or belief systems that do not originate from divine love. The reason is, whereas I've found pure loving light unable to co-exist with fear, unloving light can. And the emotional "background noise" to the unloving light is fear-based emotions. So the term fear-based is still the most all-encompassing and fitting phrase for any behavior or belief system that does not stem from love. I'm sure this is another reason why the emotion of fear is frequently made the culprit for the actions of unloving light.
– By author of "Illuminating Physical Experience"
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